A final Bronx cheer to JetBlue for 2008

I just wanted to take this opportunity to thank JetBlue for providing me with the single worst travel experience of my life in 2008.

You make big noise with your facile marketing about "Happy Jetting" and "Bringing humanity back to air travel", but the fact is that at the first sign of trouble, delay or unplanned events, you treat your paying customers just as crappily as the legacy carriers.

Your choice to sell a product that you can not seem to adequately support (in my case, your Portland, OR, operation) and then to hide behind your "Contract of Carriage" rather than do the right thing is bad enough. But from an airline that markets itself as something better, it is sick and perverse.

I presented you with multiple opportunities to prove that you really are something better and really do want to do right by your customers and each time you proactively chose NOT to do so.

So, see you in small claims court on January 15. I don't much care about winning (except that if I do, I am donating the money to charity.) The way I see it, whatever the outcome, you lose.

No reponse from JetBlue

Well, I tried. I posted an offer for JetBlue to send a check to a national animal welfare organization instead of to me, in exchange for me pulling my small claims suit against them and taking down this blog.

No response.

They don't have to admit to anything. They just have to do something nice for homeless and abused animals. That's it.

I know they saw my blog post (I can see from the access logs), so I can only guess that the powers that be at JetBlue are saying either of the following:

- "Screw him. He has been banging away at us for months. We're not giving in."

- "The lawyers say 'No way'!"

The sad thing is that they have a chance to do something nice and to make this all go away. They can say (or not say) whatever they want about it.

It would buy them good will with passengers, animal lovers and pet owners everywhere.

Whatever. JetBlue knows how best to promote its brand.

JetBlue: A peace offering

In the spirit of the holidays, I would like to extend the following offering to JetBlue:

Since you seem to be all about taking good care of pets, if you take the amount of money that I am suing you for ($722.50) and donate it to either the ASPCA or the Humane Society of the United States, I will drop the lawsuit and take down this blog.

All I would need is proof of the donation before our small claims hearing date on January 15, 2009.

JetBlue: Now we'll strand your dog, too

In yet another triumph of marketing over substance, JetBlue has announced some cockamamie new program for pets which, as far as I can see, is designed get you to buy a dog carrier and a sweatshirt for your dog from JetBlue.

If you are a rich snob like New York gossip columnist Cindy Adams, who designed the dog carrier, JetBlue can't wait to have you and your little rat-dog on board. (Um... Cindy Adams? She's quite the hipster...)

JetBlue does not allow pets as checked baggage, which to JetBlue's credit, is a good thing since God forbid your springer spaniel is locked in the cargo hold for five hours, only to have the flight cancelled for three days.

Customer service: How to do it right

I have been so busy blogging over at my main blog, I feel like poor, little JetBlue has been ignored.

So, in the name of holiday spirit and fellowship, I'll post a recent experience as an example of how to treat a customer, in the hope that JetBlue can take a hint.

I do a lot of running and right now I am training for my second marathon. Since I am not particularly fast, that means hours slogging away all by myself. I pass those hours by listening to my iPod. Over the years, I have tried out different headphones looking for the perfect combination of sound, comfort and stability (i.e. they stay in my ears while running.)

After years of trial and error, I landed on the Klipsch Custom 3. They are, without question, the best sounding earphones I own. They stay firmly in place no matter what and remain comfortable for 4-hour plus runs.

I bought a pair in April and have been using them heavily ever since.

A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that the sound was "scratchy" and traced it to the cord near the headphone jack. I called Klipsch customer service. I spoke to someone right away, who immediately e-mailed me a return authorization and I sent them back.

About a week later, a brand new pair shows up, via FedEx, at my front door. No hassle, no hardship.

Of course, this is exactly what Klipsch should have done. They knew that the product they sold me did not live up to their standards or promise and made good on it.

This, along with my positive experience earlier this year with Steelcase office furniture, restores my faith in American companies and their ability to deliver quality products and stand by them. (In contrast to why I think a good portion of the American auto indstry should be left to die.)

Also contrast that to JetBlue, who insisted on stranding me for three days, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Am I a Klipsch customer for life? You bet.

Am I suing JetBlue? You bet.

Not rocket science, is it JetBlue?

See you in court in exactly one month!

For the record: If you fly JetBlue...

... you are dead to me.

Yes, I realize that some of my closest friends still fly JetBlue, but to quote soon-to-be-ex-president Bush: "You are with me, or agin', me! Saddle up!"

I only point this out because my now ex-friend Sara flew JetBlue to see her family over Thanksgiving. She is dead to me now.

And my now ex-friend Darryl is even shilling for JetBlue on his widely read, extremely funny and witty blog. He suggested that a JetBlue gift card would make a nifty holiday gift! Traitorous bastard!

What's next, Darryl? Gift certificates to your periodontist???

Creep.